Happy 6th Birthday, Joel!

Dear Joel,

This morning when you woke up, you became six years old.  Well, technically, it won't happen until around 2:30 pm, but who's keeping track?  I know parents say this all of the time, but I really don't know where the time has gone.  Somedays it feels like these last six years have flown by and other days, you give me a real run for my money.

This year you learned a TON of new things.  Daddy taught you to ride a bike without training wheels.  I taught you how to read.  You taught yourself how to love your brother even more (well, you might have had a little coaxing from Mom and Dad).  You are even about to complete your first year of school (Kindergarten!) and have learned math, reading, and writing.

You also discovered a love for swimming and proved that you could spend upwards of 6 hours in a pool in one day if we would let you.  You are like a fish when you get in the water.  You slap on your mask and you are on the go!  I love watching you play in the water and have so much fun.

We even surprised you and went to Disney World this year.  The look on your face was priceless when we told you we were flying to Florida. Today. To see Mickey.  It was such a special time for all of us together at Disney World and I'll never forget that you rode Expedition Everest NINE times as my brave, adventurous little boy.

You grew a lot this year both in stature and in spirit.  Do you know what that means?  Sorry for using big words, but those are the right ones to use sometimes.  You are quickly gaining on me in height and the top of your head is now just about up to my chin.  When I carry you, your feet are almost touching the ground.  Pretty soon you'll be carrying me!

By spirit, I mean your personality and the young man you are and are becoming.  You are so friendly and outgoing.  I watch you meet kids at the park with gusto, coming up with some complicated make-believe world together moments after you greet them.  I've watched you buy a Bible for your friend at church so she can have one with "books and verses and stuff."  I've watched you endure some bullying and heard you tell us that you learned to stand up for yourself and that God is helping you stay strong.

My most favorite part of the day is when we tuck you in at night and you ask me to stick around a bit longer to lay with you.  You end up telling me about what you were thinking during the day and you ask me all sorts of questions about myself.  Sometimes we just talk about our favorite colors and things to eat, but every once in awhile we talk about how much you love Teddy and what you and your friends talked about that day.  I love it that you want to talk to me and tell me what's on your heart.

I love that you are kind, loving, smart, talkative, friendly, generous, outgoing, brave and adventurous.  Most of all, I love that you are learning more and more about God and who He wants you to be.  You truly love God and love others.  I am so proud to be your Mommy.  My life is so much better because you are in it.

Love,
Mommy

Here was your Power Rangers birthday surprise this morning.  You woke me up to tell me how much you loved it.

Helping mommy test some light...

You have so many cool Power Rangers moves.

These were your ideas of good poses.  Top left.  Oh my.

You and your handsome, handsome suit for the Royal Ball at church.

I think you're so funny and apparently you do, too.  Here you are cracking up at a video of yourself, mismatched socks and all.

I Made My Choice

"When in doubt, choose the kids. There will be plenty of time later to choose work." - Anna Quindlen

It sounds simple in theory, but it has been difficult in practice.  I have spent way too much time over the last year taking pictures of everyone else's families that I've sort of forgotten how much I love to photograph my own.  It breaks my heart to admit that, but it's the truth.  The evidence of that can be seen right here on this long neglected blog.  It has taken me months to catch up on something that I once loved doing.  I've missed it.  I've missed chronicling our adventures and capturing the boys' faces nearly every day.  I mean, they are the driving force behind why I became a photographer in the first place.  Just read about it here.

Somewhere along the way, I got my priorities out of whack and over the last few months of being painfully introspective, I've come to some pretty big revelations about what is important to me and how I want to spend my time.
  
It has really been an amazing eight months being home full-time with the boys.  I'll admit that this whole transition from working mom to stay-at-home homeschooling mom has been a HUGE refining process that is sometimes uncomfortable and even painful.  However, ultimately the change has been what is best for me and my family and it has deepened my relationship with God more than I could have ever expected. I'm no expert on life, but I'm pretty sure those are the things that really matter.  I have learned that it is ok to be just Christ follower, wife, mom, ministry partner, and family member.  That's enough.  I don't even have to throw photographer in there.  Really, I don't.  Do you know how long it has taken me to come to that conclusion?  Too long.  

It's as if I've woken up from a deep, deep slumber and have become aware of the life around me that is waiting to be lived.  Right now.  Right in front of me.  It might sound a little dramatic, but it's so unbelievably true for me.  When I read this scripture recently, it was dead on:

“'Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.'” —Ephesians 5:14

Gungor also has a song called "Wake Up Sleeper" that really gets to me every time I hear it.  I love Gungor, but when I first heard this song on the album, I didn't like it.  It has that Muse-y electronica sound that I cannot stand.  Usually when I hear that kind of music, I'm out.  However, this song really stuck with me and I didn't even hate it when it went into the electronic sounding ending.  In fact, I felt invigorated by it when it kicked in.  During that part, it says: 

Awaken us, awaken us

Open our eyes and wake us

Awaken us, awaken us

Open our eyes and wake us

Let your church now wake up

You can listen to it here, if you'd like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSHB8OEK4rc

Simultaneously, I've been reading more and more verses that have really spoken directly to my life at this point.  There are too many to list, but the most poignant include:

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” —Luke 12:25–26

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. —1 Thessalonians 5:16–18  

“'Martha, Martha,'” the Lord answered, “'you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'” —Luke 10:41-42

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”—Isaiah 41:13

To top it all off, the weekly messages at my church feel like they've been pointed directly at me.  http://www.deercreek.org/10/blog/blog_id/25010/Weekly-Messages  Ok, God, I get the point!  Live the kind of life that I list up there at the top of this blog - the John 10:10 life.  

I'm not entirely sure why it took quitting my job as a counselor and stepping away from photography for a few months for me to realize some of these things, but that's what it took for me.  It took having an empty calendar with absolutely zero photography sessions and no work commitments to bring me to this place.  I kept trying to figure out how all of these women I was reading about could be effective Christians, wives, moms and photographers all at the same time.  After reading a few candid posts by some of those women I admire, I came to the conclusion that I can't have it all.  If I spend tons of time building up my business, then my family suffers.  If I spend all of my time with my family, then my business just sits there.  So, I choose my family.  Plain and simple.

Now, that doesn't mean I'm not going to run a photography business anymore.  It just means from here on out, I'm going to work smarter, not harder.  I'm going to spend Sunday afternoons with my family and not out on some on-location photo shoot.

God has used these Scriptures and my life circumstances to refine and strengthen me.  He used the last few months to help me return to my real purpose - loving Him and loving others.

I am ready to rediscover the life around me that's for the taking each and every day I wake up.  I'm ready to savor the giggles, smiles, and discoveries that these amazing boys provide me with daily.  I'm ready to spend all of my extra minutes talking, dreaming, and watching too much reality TV with my husband.  I'm ready to pour more of myself into ministry and more specifically, building girls up to help them become the best women of God they can be.  I want to help people in my family, church, and community see that God loves them beyond measure and I do, too.

I know today is just March 13th.  It's just another normal Wednesday in a string of Wednesdays this year.  This isn't the time people normally make New Year's resolutions, but I think it's as good of a day as any.  This year, I commit to spending less time on my photography business and more time living each and every day with my family.  It sounds so simple, but you have no idea how much thought and energy I have put into making that one simple statement.

Now, I'm going to let myself off the hook for not updating this blog for the last six months and I think you should, too.  I mean, I could spend hours and hours writing about the update on Jude's hip displaysia, how homeschooling Joel is going, how we spent our holidays, our super fun trip to Wisconsin, or even Jude's 2nd birthday party, but I'm not going to.  Besides, if you're friends with me on Facebook or Instagram, you've seen plenty of pictures of our adventures along the way.  I'm going to allow myself to just start over this week and rediscover what it feels like to photograph my kids each day.  Here are the first set of shots to my fresh start - Jude's 2 Year pictures...along with some of his ever entertaining big brother Joel.

Whew.  It felt really good to type that.  

Disney World Part Dos

We kicked off our week at Epcot.  I had mixed feelings about this park this time around to the World.  Although it has many things I love in it, I wasn't sure if it was worth spending a whole day there with the kids.  The kid factor at this particular park is kind of low.  However, I did convince Joel to ride Soarin' right when we got there and he was hooked.  We rode it a few more times during the day because it was "like you were really flying!"  That ride along with meeting the real Wendy from Peter Pan were most definitely the highlights of Joel's day.  Jude, on the other hand, was right with me as we tasted the soda flavors of the world at the Coca-Cola cool spot (one of my personal faves at Epcot).

That night we went back to Epcot to walk around The World Showcase.  I had seriously never done that with our kids to see it through their eyes.  Some of you parents might already know this, but there is an activity for kids at each and every country.  We joined Agent P as we uncovered clues in the United Kingdom with our F.O.N.E (Field Operative Notification Equipment).  Joel was all over this.  Jude, not so much.  He and I just kind of tagged along while Joel worked with daddy to uncover the clues.

On Tuesday, we headed back to the Magic Kingdom and because the lines were non-existent we rode the elevator up to the Astro Orbiter.  I now know why I haven't ridden this thing since I was six years old.  I was DIZZY afterward, but Jude didn't seem to mind.  It also went a lot faster than I expected of a ride that is mounted 25 feet in the air.  Whew.

We managed to sneak in one final ride on a roller coaster - Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.  Joel and I were all smiles as we celebrated our last ride....or was it?

We found out we could add an extra day to our ticket for just $10 each, so we went for it!  Although we were planning on flying out the next day, our flight wasn't until the evening so we thought we could fit a few more hours of the park in.

Well, that was the plan until about 11 pm on Tuesday night.  That's when Joel woke us up with a nice SPLAT on the hallway floor.  I'll spare you the details, but let's just say it wasn't pretty as our little guy spent quite awhile in the bathroom.  It came on so fast from running around the parks that day to flat on his back.  Poor guy.

The next day, I stayed back home with the boys while Josh enjoyed a day to himself at Hollywood Studios.  I'm Wife of the Year, right?

Joel was back to his usual self again by the time we flew out which meant it was time for him to pass it on to the next family member...me.  I barely made it home through the flight and drive from the airport. Whatever bug we were passing around was not a pretty one.

It skipped Josh (although we suspect he had a mild case of it earlier in the week) and headed right over to Jude on Saturday night, so we ended our vacation with a bang - flu virus all around!  It will definitely make our trip more memorable.  I can hear it now, "Hey, mom.  Remember that time I threw up all over the floor and then fell in it?  Three times?"  Haha, good times.

We're Going to Disney World!

So, we went to Disney World this week.  You know, just a typical week for our family.

We had been planning it for MONTHS and decided to surprise Joel with the news.  We did this for two reasons: 1). He has no concept of time and would be asking for months when we would be going. 2). We wanted to have one of those videos you see on the Disney commercials with kids freaking out about going to Disney World.

Well, we didn't get quite the freak out we were hoping for, but I'd say he was pretty excited.  We decided to let him discover it through his reading lesson for the day.  I about died as it was taking him forever to sound out "Disney."  When he finally put it together, he was pretty pumped.  I cut the video off before his crazy dance.  Let's just say it was a little too crazy.

We had a pretty uneventful flight on the trip down.  Jude traveled much better as an 18 month old than Joel did when he was around that age.  I guess to his credit, he was a bit older than Joel was at that point.  The only drawback was that we booked an evening flight, so by the time we arrived in Florida, Joel was cashed out.  Right on the floor of the airport with his blanket.  Ew, I know.

We found ourselves flying out on Wednesday the 12th and visiting the parks the very next morning starting with the Animal Kingdom on Thursday.  This one of my personal favorites because I love animals so much and could go to the zoo every week.  Well, Animal Kingdom is a like a zoo times a million.  It also happens to house my most favorite roller coaster in all of Walt Disney World - Expedition Everest.  I had a gazillion butterflies in my stomach as I walked with Joel up to his very first big roller coaster ride on my most favorite roller coaster.  Here he is waiting in anticipation and I even captured a shot as we rode up the click-click-clicking hill.  I love this kid and his sense of adventure!

My brave little guy ended up riding Expedition Everest nine times that day.  Nine!  There were literally no lines because we went in September when all of the other kids were in school.  Yay, homeschooling!  Jude was in great spirits as he ate a bit of a Mickey Bar and sipped his drink waiting for us as we took turns riding the roller coaster with Joel.  You can't really see them very well, but Josh and Joel are in the fifth row down there on the right.

One of the most memorable moments of the day was when Josh and Joel got their first Mickey Bars of the trip and half of Joel's dropped on the ground.  He was SO upset (as one might imagine), but Josh was quick on his feet as he scooped up the ice cream off the ground and started to eat it.  That's all it took for Joel to step in and wrestle him for it.  You have no idea how precious Mickey Bars are to Josh.  He could possibly write a whole book about it.  I, for one, think they are just another ice cream bar, but don't tell him I said that.  Once I even tried to figure out how to dry ice ship them to our house through a college friend that worked in the parks.  Sadly, he no longer worked there when I finally asked about it.  That's how serious Josh is about these things.

All of Disney World was not lost on Jude.  Our sweet little guy was content to just walk around and see all of the awesome characters and beat on the drums.

 I'm so glad we brought along our own official bird watchers and fish inspectors to the Animal Kingdom.

Our second day was spent at my most favorite park - The Magic Kingdom.  We took full advantage of the Baby Swap program on this trip and as we did, Jude got his shop on.  He hit every kiosk around as he waited for the roller coaster switch to happen.  Some places like Big Thunder Mountain Railroad had a great hideaway play area for him to play in, but other times we were just content to find some shade to keep us out of the blazing Florida heat (in September nonetheless!).  It rained for quite a bit of our day off and on, so after wrapping my camera in a bag followed by three rain ponchos, I opted to keep it back at the condo for the rest of the trip.  

Here's Jude deciding to take matters into his own hands to stay cool. Here are also the many new details in the ride queues in Fantasyland for the kiddos (and mamas and dads) to enjoy.  I was so impressed with all of the new additions.  Although there weren't any lines, we took our time doing the activities in the waiting area of both The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and Dumbo.  I personally could have stayed in Dumbo's Big Top Circus for a few hours.  That's one of the advantages of being so short - I can pass as a kid and do all of the awesome climbing things with the boys.

My highlights of the day included:
1. Holding hands with Joel as we waited in anticipation for Space Mountain.
2. Watching Jude run and giggle through the play area under Big Thunder Mountain.
3. Riding Aladdin's Magic Carpet for the first time.
4. Catching a tiny glimpse of Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party before they booted us.
5. Spending the day with my most favorite people on Earth in my most favorite place on Earth.

On Saturday, we headed to Downtown Disney where we hit T-Rex restaurant for lunch and then moved on to the Lego Store.  We ended it with some awesome cake pops and candied apples from a ridiculously over the top sweets store.  It's a good thing I need to fly on a plane to get there.  I could do some serious damage in that place if I lived nearby.

We wrapped up our week at Hollywood Studios.  This was the much anticipated day of the Jedi Training Academy.  You have NO idea how pumped Joel was about this. Basically, you get to sign up to train with Star Wars characters to become a Jedi, ultimately fighting against Darth Vader at the end.  What a kids' dream, right?  Well, especially our kid.  We went directly to the academy first thing in the morning and still didn't get in until the 4th show of the day.  This is one hot ticket for the little boys in the park.  Our Jedi ended up with an official certificate and pictures to prove that he is, indeed, a true Jedi.  We also got to meet Lightning McQueen, ride Toy Story Mania, and buy some Star Wars memorabilia along the way.

Park Hopping

We took full advantage of the awesome weather this week and got our park on.  Although it's only our second week of school, we have gotten into a rhythm of sorts where we venture out in the mornings together and while Jude naps in the afternoon, that's when we get down to business with school.  So far so good.  We've only had one Target cashier and one curious mom shopper ask me why Joel isn't in school  The cashier even asked me how many hours a day we do it and what time we get up in the morning.  Who knew our local Target cashier had such a passion for education?

On our trip to Target this week, I managed to put my wallet on the back of our car and then drive a mile down the road before I saw it in my rearview mirror.  I gingerly pulled over on a side road to retrieve it as I thanked God BIG time for watching over me on that one.  Wowza.

I took a few more pictures of school this week as we played with race cars and went outside to practice sword fighting skills (ok, that wasn't a part of the curriculum) and tested whether items would sink or float as a part of a science project.  In case you were wondering, the can of tomatoes sunk.